Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Breastfeeding: An Untold Story

We always hear about how great breastfeeding your baby is, because blah blah blah....  Some folks are even good at making you feel like the worst mom in the world because you didn't breastfeed your baby until they were at least a year old.  Well, I don't think it's so great.  In fact, I'm just going to come out and say how I feel about it: breastfeeding SUCKS!  There, I said it. ;)  If you breastfeed currently or have done it successfully in the past then more power to ya!  You really don't need to read any further than the end of this sentence because this is more for the moms who have tried and failed (for one reason or another) or simply chose not to try breastfeeding at all.  I tried breastfeeding twice, and failed miserably both times.

First, I am a VERY modest person.  I would go hide with the baby in my bedroom to nurse and/or pump while other people (exceptions: husband, mom, sisters) were around.  Mater was taken via a helicopter (without me) to a NICU when he was 24 hours old, and when we had visitors, I would close the curtain and hide so that I could pump/nurse.  Either way, I hated it because 1) I thought I was missing out on something (like seeing our relatives who we don't get to see much) and 2) (the main reason) I didn't like them knowing that my tah-tah(s) was/were hanging out.  I don't people to see my tah-tahs hanging out, nor do I want to see people with their tah-tahs hanging out, whether its a mom nursing her baby or Miley Cyrus twerking in an "outfit" that leaves nothing to the imagination.

Second, the frustrating amount of time that I spent nursing and pumping I felt that I should have spent doing something else, like playing tractors with my son.  I didn't, and still don't, want to miss a thing when it comes to what my kiddos are doing.  Every moment missed is a moment that I can't get back.  Not to mention how exhausted I was, and that I unknowingly had good 'ol PPD, which made me want to spend more time with Mater than with Dorothy.

Third, it hurts like a son of a gun and just an all-around nuisance!  My son was a instant-gratification baby, and since he was in the NICU he was sometimes given a bottle so that the nurses could monitor how much he was eating; FYI once during that week he ate 8 oz of milk.  BOTH of my babies were big (10 lb & 9 lb) and had big appetites.  After deciding twice that I hated to nurse for various reasons, I just tried pumping (no nursing at all), twice.  I failed miserably both times.  For starters, I couldn't pump enough to keep up with those big appetites.

Lastly, and certainly not least (there were A LOT more details about nursing both my kids than I will even mention here), I hate trying to lug around all the extra weight.  All that extra weight is more than my back can handle.

The only reason I have ever tired breastfeeding (and will if a third baby comes along) is for economical purposes.  It is obviously a lot cheaper to feed your baby milk that your body makes than it is to buy formula.  My oldest sister told me something once, because I was feeling very guilty about no longer nursing Mater when he was a baby, she told me that women used to (before formula was invented) nurse simply because they really didn't have any other choice, NOT necessarily because they wanted to.

So, if you're like me and decide that breastfeeding isn't for you don't feel like you are the worst person in the world for giving up and/or not trying at all because it just isn't for some people.  I tried twice.  I failed twice.  I will not let people make me feel guilty for failing and/or for not enjoying breastfeeding their baby; I may have to remind myself of this again later.

If you are someone who nurses their babies, and have read this far, then that is awesome for you that you enjoy it/could make it work for you.  But, again, this particular post was not meant for you.  I see all kinds of breastfeeding mothers support out there, etc., but I never see anything for those mothers who can't or won't for one reason or another and made to feel guilty (especially by the government and healthcare industry) about it.

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