Friday, October 10, 2014

Not-So-Perfect Parents

I am not perfect.  I am not a perfect parent.  Whew!  There, I'm so glad I got that off my chest.  Here is a list of reasons why were are not perfect parents:

My toddler eats plain old boring peanut butter sandwiches.  Sometimes we add a little jelly just to change it up a bit.

We don't offer our son fresh fruits and veggies at every meal every day.  Offering it at one meal a day is pretty successful in my book.  After all, that stuff gets expensive, and I try to only go to the grocery store once a month.

We follow the 5-second (or however long it's been there) rule because a little dirt never killed anybody.

One day this week, my son found a pebble of poop laying on our carpet.  At least it was the toddler and not the baby, so he knew not to put it in his mouth.  (In our defense, the poop just blended into the color of the carpet, and here lately, I've been changing 95% of the diapers on the floor rather than on the changing table.)

We have never read parenting books.  I read some of "What to Expect When You're Expecting" when I was expecting Mater, but that's as close as I've come.

We are a meat and taters kind of family, which gets expensive too, but I mostly just prefer the taters, so I save most of the meat for Mater and Donald.

I buy clothes that are the cheapest and fit because they grow entirely too fast.  On occasion I will splurge a little just because something is cute and on sale, but that doesn't happen very often.

I am not oppose to hand-me-down clothing, toys, etc. for my children, especially if it's FREE.  If I get something cheap or on sale, it's great, but if I get it free that is even better! 

I have no problem holding a diapered child's butt up to my face and sniffing it to determine if they are poopy.

If I have a long enough fingernail to do so, I will picky my baby's nose with my pinky when a bulb syringe is not available.

In a good week, the kids get a bath once.

I have many levels of clean when it comes to clothes.  If it was worn once and has not spots of dirt or food on it, then it's still clean.  If it's been worn and just have a little bit of something on it then it is a little dirty but still wearable for at home.  If it is just covered in food and/or dirt then it is dirty and unwearable until it gets washed.  Even with following this logic, I always have a hamper full of my children's laundry by Friday morning.

When it is the proper time, I encourage my children to get dirty or won't stop them from getting dirty anyways.

I yell at my kiddo.  I love both of them to pieces, but sometimes they make mommy a little nutty, especially when Mater is having issues with selective hearing.

We have the parenting philosophy "no matter what we do, we are going to screw our kids up."

If at the end of the day the house is here, everyone has been fed, and everyone is still alive then we have had a GREAT day!

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